I decided to fly into Europe by way of Berlin so that I could visit one of my Bluephie’s babies, Esa, that’s doin’ big things and living in Germany postgrad. Berlin was really the only city in my itinerary that I didn’t research or plan for. Esa had been living in Berlin for a few months by the time I got there, so I figured I would be in good hands and just let her basically take me wherever she wanted to or thought would be the most fun. She picked me up at the airport with beers for the trip home, like any true friend would, so basically I loved Germany from the second I landed. It was so much fun to get to spend time with her and all her new friends, I didn’t realize how much I missed her until we were reunited.
A large part of my time in Berlin consisted of drinking cheap German beer and staring into Esa’s beautiful face. The beer Esa is drinking in this picture was probably the most expensive beer we bought the whole time, and it definitely cost less that six US dollars. Don’t worry, we supplemented our one bourgeoisie beer with plenty of big beers from Späti’s that cost approximately .70 Euros. Which we mostly drank in the streets. Because you can do that in Berlin and that alone is worth cost of the plane ticket, trust me on this one.
Germany knows how to do brunch. Any place that will serve me a giant tray of meat and cheese for breakfast is okay in my book. Esa and I were brunch monsters when we lived in Madison together, so we continued the tradition as much as possible in Berlin, even though she had to do all my ordering for me this time.
We took full advantage of the “Photoautomats” around the city. Basically they’re these dingy, outdoor photobooths that are all over the area we went out in. Don’t ask me to name the neighborhood, like I said, I basically just followed Esa around for two weeks. These were taken before and after our trip to Monster Ronsons, a karaoke bar where all the emcee’s are drag queens. If you’re wondering whether Esa and I rapped a Kanye West song to a room full of cross dressing Germans, the answer is obviously.
Esa’s roommate used to be a city tour guide, so we made her take us on an all inclusive tour of Berlin’s famous sites. Brandenburger Tor is obviously beautiful, but it’s important to note that we also saw the hotel where Michael Jackson held his baby out of the window. Only the most relevant and historical stops on this trip, guys.
The Berlin Wall was pretty much the only thing I knew that I had to see while I was in Berlin. Esa is really smart and worldly, so she was able to tell me a bunch of cool stuff about the history of the wall and facts about the different paintings on it, none of which I can remember. It made for a great Insta opportunity (basically the motivation behind my whole trip, tbh.)
All in all, I spent just under two weeks in Berlin, the first week I arrived in Europe and the last before I flew back home. Esa was literally the perfect host and we had so much fun drinking copious amounts of champagne, pretending to be Lizzie McGuire, and harassing local boys on Tinder. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t consider trying to find an au pair job in Berlin and staying there forever but unfortunately my high maintenance lifestyle and all German family’s unwillingness to pay over 300 Euros a month didn’t exactly match up. Until next time, Germany.