Life After College, aka Kill Me

So it turns out that life after college is pretty stressful. Who knew, right? But seriously, I had always kind of imagined that after college, I would know exactly where I was going to live and would have a solid job offer waiting for me as soon as they handed me my diploma. Except that that’s literally the exact opposite of my life right now. I have no idea where I’ll be living in a few months or what I’ll be doing or if Picatso and I will be living on the street like hobos. Which we all know he wouldn’t tolerate because he is such a diva.

diva

I had to stay in Madison for the summer since I had to take a few summer classes to finish up my degree. So I’ve been living in my same apartment, finishing up my classes, waitressing and balancing two internships. Which has been fine. I’ve actually been having a really fun summer so far. I’ve been able to work enough to pay my bills and still buy alcohol, thank God. And I’ve been able to find a decent balance between having fun and doing actual work. But the last of my friends left in Madison are all leaving within the next few weeks and my lease is going to be up next month. So it’s finally starting to hit me that wow, this is actually real and I have to move out and live somewhere else and quit my job and not go completely broke. And it’s so confusing.

I’ve been applying for jobs online like crazy, but it’s so discouraging to not hear back or to hear back and not be selected. And since I’m mostly looking for jobs in other states, half of the places that do want to interview me fall through because they aren’t willing to do so over the phone and are looking for local candidates. And as much as I wish I could, I can’t afford to drop hundreds of dollars every few weeks to travel to interviews for jobs that I might end up not getting.

But then I try to imagine myself in a big girl job, one that I’m “supposed” to be getting right now, and I don’t know if I’m really that excited about it. Sure, it would be nice to have a set schedule with nights and weekends free and more money and a place of my own. But I don’t know if I would be completely happy. What I really want to do is travel, except that’s really hard to do with no money and a brand new fur baby. I was tentatively planning a trip to Europe in January but if (by some miracle of God) I do find a real job before then, I won’t be able to do that and it makes me really sad. Like, really sad. But the idea of traveling around by myself is just as scary, if not more scary, than the thought of moving to a new city by myself and starting a big girl job.But it’s also really really really exciting. My mind has been going a thousand different directions lately, and I keep deciding what I want to do and then changing my mind a few hours later. I know that everything will work itself out in time, and that I should be excited and happy and grateful because this is pretty much the only time in my life where I have literally endless possibilities. And I am. It’s just hard to remember that sometimes when I’m busy stressing out about the smaller details of it, like where to live and whether or not to keep applying for jobs.

So basically what I’m getting at is that my life is in shambles and if anyone knows of a company that will pay me six figures to travel around the world with my cat and post adorable Instagram selflies in various destinations, please email me. Much appreciated.

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